Masturbation

Masturbation is a huge debate among many Christians. Some claim the Bible doesn't specifically address it. Others feel its inherently wrong because it involves lust. There are those who feel it can be done without lust...of course if you're not lusting...then why is there even a need to do it? But I don't even want to get into that debate here. Let's for the sake of arguement just say that pornography is a sin, but masturbation is okay. That's not my personal opinion, but I think there is good reason to avoid masturbation even under the presumption that it is not immoral.

What's the real addiction here? I personally am not gratified "fully" by simply looking at pornography. Pornography only serves to build sexual frustration. If I look at pornography long enough, I can no longer control myself. So much sexual energy builds up that it becomes unbearable, and there needs to be some sort of release...and that's where masturbation comes in. But if you take masturbation out of the equation, lets say I am physically unable to do it, then what happens? I really have no reason to look at pornography. For me, the entire point of looking at pornography is to build myself up to a sexual release. That release is the real addiction for me. If I can't have that release, what is the point of looking at pornography? It's only going to serve to get me excited, but if there is no release, I'm just going to drive myself crazy.

So what happens if I try to give up pornography, but allow myself to masturbate? Initially I could see it working okay. Let's say I only allow myself to masturbate when I have an uncontrollable temptation and when I masturbate, I clear my mind so that there are not lustful thoughts...it's completely "functional" in that I'm only doing it to release tension but not to indulge in fantasy. But by allowing myself that out, I have done nothing to try to control my urges. The sexual release as I mentioned before is the whole addiction. If I tell myself its okay, then what's to stop me from doing it daily? Maybe I start by only doing it once every week or two...but it's addictive and a bit of a stress release...and there's nothing to stop me from doing it more frequently. If I'm already doing it once a week, why not twice a week, why not every day? And by allowing myself to essentially cave when things get too tough, I'm not teaching myself any self-control...eventually the threshold of temptation that I can endure before I turn to masturbation becomes pretty low.

So now maybe I'm doing it everyday...its become a daily habit...it gets to the point where I might not even be that tempted...but I'm tired, bored, and/or stressed...so why not take the edge off with masturbation. But now there's a problem. Up until now I've been doing it without lust because I'm already sexually frustrated. But now there's a problem, I just want to do it but I'm not feeling sexually frustrated. So now, what's to stop me from turning to my old ways of building up the sexual frustration? I'm already masturbating...why not indulge in a fantasy or view pornography? Afterall, its just "functional", serving just to get me worked up enough to enjoy masturbation.

I guess that's how pornography and masturbation have always worked for me. Rarely have I just had the urge to view pornography with no intent on masturbating. But even on those few rare occasions, it turned to masturbation. No, pornography has always been about making that sexual release better. I didn't turn towards pornography because I didn't find my wife sexy or because she didnt' satisfy....it was more because I was seeking a sexual release because I was bored or stressed and the only way to fully experience that was to include lust and pornography. Yes, it did feel like I was just addicted to pornography, but had there neve been any expectation of sexual release, I simply don't think the addiction would have developed.

I guess that brings this discussion full circle. If you take away the masturbation, is there really a purpose for pornography? For me personally, no. Furthermore, by allowing myself the convenience of masturbation because I found a way to justify it...I do not teach myself self-control and eventually it leads me down the path to lust and pornography again. Even if you could prove that masturbation is not immoral...is it some sort of necessity? Do we need it? No! And if the sexual frustration builds up in us so much that we feel we do need it, then we should probably take a step back and figure out why that sexual energy built up so strongly within us in the first place and figure out how to prevent it from happening in the future. I find that for me, it is usually because I allowed the sexual frustration to build up to that point...when there was usually something I could have done to stop it.

Bottom line, to give up pornography, I see no reason to keep masturbation in the picture. It only serves to remind us of our previous experiences and to allow us to maintain a habit of sexual release that may ultimately need to be fed by pornography to continue.