Perhaps the most basic principle to overcoming any addiction is cutting off access to the source. This is one of the first things taught in the Setting Captives Free Pure Freedom Course (see the link on the right). For pornography, this means getting rid of whatever it is that allows you to view pornography. Now of course, with society the way it is today...it's virtually impossible to avoid sexually suggestive dress/advertising/music...but there are certainly things that we do have control over. If you have any magazines or movies...don't just throw them out...destroy them! If you struggle with pornography online, install an internet filter, and let your spouse or a friend set the password. If you have access to any television channels that frequently have nudity or sexually oriented programming, block them!
If you allow yourself to have easy access to this type of material, you're going to fall. But you can't view pornography if you don't have access to it. Not only that, just knowing how much more difficult it is to find this material when you've cut off access to it is a bit of a discouraging factor too. I'm going to be much more likely to seek out pornography if I know all I have to do is hop on the internet than if I have to go out somewhere hunting for it...and likely paying money for it. So getting rid of it is key.
I remember when I was engaged to my wife and I first told her about my struggles with pornography. I had certainly tried to kick the habit many times before...but this time it was different. I wanted to be the best husband I could for her, because she's such a beautiful person that she deserves it. I started the Pure Freedom course and one of the first days talked about the importance of getting rid of access to pornography. I had some magazines that I was still holding on to. Why? How did I expect to stop looking at pornography while holding on to these magazines? Just the thought of giving them up was painful...knowing I was giving it up forever...it was like a drug and fearing the imminent withdrawal. But finally I decided if I held on to the magazines...they would control me. They would have this power over me. I decided that if I was really serious about giving up pornography, I had to get rid of them...anything else would not be pleasing to God or my future wife. So I just decided I wasn't going to think about it anymore...I was just going to do it. I got out the magazines and started ripping them up. I didn't even look at them...I just ripped and ripped and ripped. I had such a sense of empowerment...I was taking things into my own hands refusing to let these things control me and my thoughts! I stuffed the torn up pieces into a garbage bag and took them out to the dumpster.
The sad part of the story is that down the road I would fall again. But how? By discovering ways around the internet filter I had installed. Instead of immediately recognizing that I again had access and I needed to get rid of it...I convinced myself I was strong enough to resist...and I fell. I fell hard. And the moral there is that we much continually be on guard. Opportunities will come along, and we must be strong enough to do what we have in our power to cut off our access before it can become a problem again.
As I mentioned above, there are certainly things that our out of control. Just an innocent trip to the grocery store and we can be bombarded with sexual imagery...and I intend to address such things in later blog entries. But the goal is recognize the things we do have control over, and being proactive in taking steps to prevent our access. Get rid of the magazines! Download internet filters! Block channels on the television! Don't go to movies we know will have sexual situations! Don't keep more than a few dollars cash on us so we won't be tempted to buy inappropriate magazines in the store! If you go through the Pure Freedom course at Setting Captives Free, you'll hear stories of people who took this principle to great lengths...quitting jobs and ending relationships...all because they knew these things were somehow roadblocks in their path to purity.
Please feel free to leave comments or e-mail me (mathias1979@yahoo.NOSPAM.com). I would love to hear from those of you reading so I know someone is taking something away from this blog! Please don't hesitate to share you thoughts, opinions, or just say 'hi'!
God Bless!
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1 comment:
"Burning bridges" is a familiar concept for me. I did it many times. It doesn't work alone.
I removed the door from my room with the computer. I made even more serious attempt: I sold a computer.
I lived 6 months without a computer. I told myself that porn on the Internet is infinite (unlimited), but offline porn is actually finite (few old video cassettes). So, I allowed myself to see these videos.
The effect was very interesting. The process of seeing porn on the Internet looks like behavior of hyperactive kid. Not completed this, goes for that, then switches in the middle again and goes for 3-rd thing. The process of seeing porn on a video cassette is like diving deeper in details never seen before, after looking again and again on the same cassette.
Finally I restricted myself from seeing these cassettes as well. Then it was another surprise: the memories.
When I was going to sleep, in the bed, the memories of many movies, that I've seen on the Internet came to me. In details. The more days I was out of porn on video and Internet, the more memories came with more details.
Very soon I've rediscovered my old hobby of sculpture (plastilyn) and building dragons, angels and strange mysterious animals kept me from going crazy. I felt how much sexual energy goes to sculpture.
Anyway, I want to get back to your point of "burning bridges". We need powerful self-help techniques long before of "burning any bridges". I use now some self-help workbook, that I describe in more detail on my blog:
http://sawlog.blogspot.com/
I hope it can help you guys. I very like the famous STARWARS saying: "May the Force be with you, always".
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